what does it mean to care? to love? to wish to better others?

I care nothing for this world in many ways. Homeless people on the street, orphaned children, widows i feel not pangs of sympathy for these people. I think it migh be because these poeple are led to those places and responsd as they see fit. (a weeping widow hasn't been seen in my clan in ages, death is accepted not mourned, granted we miss them but it's part of every persons cycle) they have their own strength and that's what must see them through this ordeal.

now that i've established myself as a heartless bastard allow me to say this. I do care when merchant's technology isn't working, that i understand, they are trying very hard to better their life and work very hard on their buisness and gamble on something they know next to nothing about (software). And i CAN help them. and I try very hard too. I am the magi that knows what they have and can do often my advise and direction will save a buisness and with that buisness the merchants very livelyhood. without this they would have to close shop and they would have no means to suport themselves or their family.

My family, My mate, My sons these are what I care for i will offer what ever i can for their betterment without though or hesitation for my status. i will fiercely fight any that stand against them and tear apart any that tries to hurt them. the rest of the world must fend for itself as it can and has for ages i'm not so arogant to think that my small power and abilites could honestly affect the changes in it as a whole.

I'll tend to that i can improve my family, my mate, my sons, and the merchants that need my aid. perhasp one day i'll have the power to affect great change and make things better for many more but this is where I am and this is enough for me.

*the title is a song by Johnathan Coulton and describes the way I felt today*

Deployed by my love's rookiery mate I streach my wings

the wind ripple around me as a plummet into the chaos

Light blurs by as I speed along fast as the wind

blown like a leaf by my own elation at simply being what i am, an elder magi

My ledge simple and covered in my trappings i begin my dance

spinning twisting within a torrent of my own design.

lights and numbers words and text all swirling in a chotic torrent that i understand and direct

My art, my power joining the 3 other magi who have already began the art.

Questions answered, systems mended, chaotic coding brough into harmony

the fabric of technology rippled and smoothed under our vigil and precise hands,

Roaring in delight as a new victory is added to our collection

like a greedy dragons hording gems and coins we scourer the land for more,

our collections grows and our pride in it as well

we spin faster, mending, building, correcting, bringing all into harmony

our work begans again in an new with each step in the art, 

hungry for more treasure

hungry for more challenges

hungry for more knowledge

hungry for more experience

but then.... a pause.... we gaze around at each other and realize the work is done,

peace reigns and i lower my blades realizing my own exaustion finally.

and the hours slowly spin like lazy bird circling peacefully

as us 4 magi speak of our art, our life, and our thoughts.

one by one we part in the same order we arrive,

bound for our own lands laden with the bounty of the day till i alone am left

for I am the last, slowly savoring each movement and each step i work the art alone

the pride in the peace that i had a hand win wroghting fills me with joy

and then the sun sets and the land sleeps till the light returns and new challenges arrive with it

my love comes and we retrun to our lands,

but I am eager for the marrow already and the chance to work my art again.

(i feel the need to put an after note in this, this is how i feel and how my work days normally are, strange in a world of people who HATE to work I take great joy in my job, I'm not sure if my fellow elder magi feel the same but I know it seems like they do.)

(oh and yeah i'm an elder magi now, I got a promotion i have more power and with it do greater good.)

the night gathers deep around me as a pad down a path deeper into the darkness. I bear my young on my back and my love in my arms, she slumbers till the dawn, for that is what she hearalds and without her there is no light for the world and the world will be condemed to darkness.

Wolves sulk in my wake awaiting me to stumble and fall. hours turn to days days to months months almost to a year it seems as I trudge on, my legs are heavy my body cut in many places from brambles and branches i plow through in desperation to out pace the wolves.

The sky turns pales as dawn twilight aproachs, gasping in hope i rush on, I must protect her and the young or else there will be no dawn at all. a moment's carelessness a wolf bite my heel causing me to fall, tossing my love forward ahead of me I fall to my belly adding new bruises to myself. moving fast as the wolf tears at my boot i pull my last defense a small blade in my belt and stab the wolf, perhaps it is luck or desperation but the blade findes the wolfs eye and killing it.

I shove the body away and check the young on my back, still blissfully sleeping awaiting the light their mother shall bring. my relief is short lived, as I see other wolves move forward to take the brave one's place. Desperate I try to stagger up, but my torn ankle gives way. dark realization sets in and i begin to weep for my eminet demise, but more for the world of light that i will never know now, a world of darkness will reign and my hope begins to wane and fade, when i hear a sound like an angel's cry.

"Stand up, we must go Curtis!" My love had awakened again, eagerly I pull myself up with her help and togeather we stumble on toward the dawn that she hearlds, staggering I am as dawn begins to break and wolves howl in retreat from the light, i can walk no more and we are still threatened by the wolves but I have her to seem me through to the dawn now. and in her brilliant blue eyes i see the world of light we will create and that our young will prosper in in time.

we walk on......

"Shadows of the blade"

ebbing in the waning light

the shadows extend their tendrils over all the land

Fear takes the weak and ignorant,

I walk these dark pahts as they open

Just as those that quake in fear

I know not what resides within the night

yet i find them ever comforting

let the darkness come

i'll play among it

embrace the cold comfort

rest within it

dance in the play of the shadows

and when the time comes

i'll weild that fearless nature against the weak who bay for my services

yes they need those who fear not the dark,

they know this,

they do not know they are the ones who give the power to the dark by fearing it.

only those stout of heart can face the dark and weild another's fear against them.

"Necromancers Song"

Move to the beat of my hollow rythem,

your bones shall move as puppets of mine,

Death is your birth

I your Father and teacher

directing you in my macrabe play

your bodies are mine now and i use them thusly

slaves to the rythem my magic plays

forever to serve and obey till you are useless to me

Life may grant you your form but i fill your empty shell with power

Dance and move to my magic song for you exist sole for it

Dance till your bones crumble and you rest forever in your grave again